In 2015, Kristen Holland’s life was saved by Steven Wheeler—a husband, father, animal lover, and registered organ donor from Memphis, Tennessee.
Before her liver transplant, Kristen was diagnosed with non-alcoholic cirrhosis of the liver (NASH). “On July 13, 2015, I went for a biopsy. I was still in the hospital when they came back that night and said I had little to no liver function,” said Kristen. “They told me I needed a transplant immediately, and I probably had a week to live. The next day they had identified a donor out-of-state, and I was scheduled for a transplant the following day.”
Kristen’s transplant took place at UNC, where she received exceptional care both before and after the surgery. “My liver transplant was in July, and I went back to work in September. I spent so much of my focus and concentration on getting well physically that the whole emotional and mental piece of it didn’t hit me until around the holidays. I knew my donor was a male, so I knew that there was somebody without a dad, a brother, or a husband. Those things started creeping into my head. In the months after, I experienced a lot of survivor’s guilt. I lived because somebody else had to die.”
Immensely grateful for the gift of life she had received, Kristen wrote a letter to her donor’s family in the fall of 2015. In June 2016, she received a response.
“That’s kind of when the emotional piece of it and closure came for me,” said Kristen. “I was very thankful to them. In the letter, I told them a little bit about myself, my hobbies, my family, and my job. I said I would like to meet them, and I was just grateful for their loved one. My donor’s wife, Veronica, wrote back and said she was glad to hear from me. She told me about her husband, Steven. He was an army veteran, in good health, and was a great stepfather to her daughters. They were from Memphis, and they were open to visiting with me.”
Kristen discovered that Steve, 48, had suffered a stroke and passed away on July 13, 2015. Over time, she noticed subtle connections between their lives, as if tiny threads were weaving their two families together.
“I have a brother named Steven, and their names are spelled the exact same,” said Kristen. “He died on the 13th, and my brother’s birthday is July 13. Veronica goes by Ronnie, and that’s my dad’s name. 30 days before I got sick and had the transplant, I found a dog on Craigslist and his name was Memphis. When I heard my donor was from Tennessee, I remember saying to my doctor, ‘I bet my donor is from Memphis,’ because my dog stayed by my side when I was sick, and he never left me. Veronica told me that not too long before Steve died, he found a stray cat and he had named it Memphis, too.”
In October 2016, Kristen and her parents flew out to Memphis to meet with Veronica and her two daughters, Mariah and Randi.
“It was emotional,” said Kristen. “They were all so happy that their dad had kept someone alive. It was his wish to be a donor and he was very adamant about it. We stayed in Memphis, and I was able to visit his grave, go to their house, and eat at his favorite restaurant.”
Veronica and her girls had always been curious about the people that Steve had saved, so hearing from and meeting with his liver recipient played a huge part in their healing. “Steve saved a couple of other lives, but I never heard from them,” said Veronica. “When Kristen reached out, we just hit it off from there. I told her not to feel guilty and that we were okay. I think that brought her a lot of peace. When she came to Memphis, we met them at the airport and took them to their hotel. We just hugged and it felt like we were old friends. We talked, had dinner, and did some Memphis sightseeing. It brought me a sense of peace, knowing that she has a piece of my husband inside of her. She’s keeping Steve alive.”
As promised, the two families have stayed very close over the years. “We keep up with each other on Facebook and we talk by text message,” said Kristen. “They got a tattoo of Steve’s final heartbeat, along with his initials in his handwriting from a card he had given his wife. Once UNC cleared me, I got the same tattoo, but I got it in green for the liver recipient ribbon. I have it on my wrist like they do. When his oldest daughter, Mariah, got engaged, they asked if I’d walk her down the aisle in Steve’s place this October. I was crying when they asked me. I was never able to have kids, so I’m never going to be the mother of a bride or groom. Steve didn’t just give me life; he also gave me a chance to be a part of that through him. I am ecstatic.”
Veronica says the most important thing to understand about organ donation is the inner healing it can bring to everyone involved.
“It brings peace and hope, not just to the donor’s family, but also to the recipient,” said Veronica. “Letting Kristen know that we were okay brought her peace. I can’t imagine what Kristen and her family were going through when she was diagnosed, being told she has only got so many days to live. I think about my own girls and how terrifying that must have been. Now, because of Steve, she is going on 10 years. That is 10 years of time spent with her parents and brother, 10 years spent spreading the word about the importance of donation. All because Steve said yes to organ donation.”
75 lives could be saved and healed from one organ, eye, and tissue donor. Together, we can save lives. Register your decision at honorbridge.org/registerme
